ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WERE “IMPORTANT” ARE NO LONGER…

Entry for August 29, 2006

“ROSEANNE CONNER”

I LOVED THIS CHARACTER AND I LOVED THIS SHOW!

IT WAS ON THE AIR FROM 1988 – 1997. (FROM 10/18/88 UNTIL 5/20/97)

ROSEANNE HARRIS (ROSEANNE BARR) MARRIED  DAN CONNER (JOHN GOODMAN) WHEN THEY WERE 17 AND 19 YEARS OLD. THEY WERE HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS.

ROSEANNE HAD ONE SISTER, JACKIE (LAURIE METCALF) (WHO WAS ORIGIONALLY NAMED MARGORIE) THAT WAS HER BEST FRIEND (SHE LATER MARRIED FRED AND HAD 1 SON ANDY)  AND THEY WERE EACH OTHERS ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM AND ROCKS AS ADULTS AND AS LITTLE GIRLS GROWING UP IN A HOME WHERE THEIR DAD WAS AN ABUSIVE MAN AND THEIR MOM, BEV (ESTELLE PARSONS) WAS A MANIPULATOR.

ROSEANNE AND DAN HAD 4 KIDS… BECKY (“TALL, BLOND AND BUILT, I STILL DON’T THINK THAT SHE’S MINE” SAID ROSEANNE), DARLENE (“I WAS GOING TO RUN AWAY, BUT I DIDN’T NEED ROZILLA LEVELING CHICAGO TRYING TO FIND ME”) AND D.J. (“I THINK I WAS ADOPTED”).THEY LATER HAD ANOTHER SON “JERRY GARCIA CONNER” WHO WAS PLAYED BY ROSEANNE’S REAL BABY.

BOTH OF THE DAUGHTERS HOOKED UP WITH “HEALY BOYS”, BECKY WITH MARK (A NO BRAINS, HARD WORKING PUNK WHO WORKS AS A MECHANIC AND SHE RUNS OFF AND ELPOES WITH) AND DARLENE WITH HIS YOUNGER BROTHER, DAVID (A SUPER SENSITIVE, SMART, QUIET BROKE DOWN MAN SLAVES WHO SHE LATER MARRIES AND HAS A DAUGHTER WITH). BOTH OF THESE BOYS ARE LIKE SON’S TO ROSEANNE AND DAN, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY TRY TO DENY IT!

THEY LIVE A VERY BLUE COLARED LIFE AND ROSEANNE IS AN OUTSPOKEN, OPPINIONATED, STRONG WOMAN WHO REFERS TO HERSELF AS “A DOMESTIC GODDESS”. SHE TOTALLY WEARS THE PANTS IN THEIR FAMILY AND DAN IS A VERY PATIENT, HARD WORKING MAN WHO ADORES HIS WIFE!

ROSEANNE ALSO HAS GREAT FRIENDS, NANCY (THE LESBIAN), BONNIE (HER CO-WORKER AT RODVELLE’S DINER), LEON (HER GAY BOSS THAT SHE LOVES TO HATE) AND CRYSTAL (HER BEST FRIEND FROM SCHOOL WHO ENDS UP MARRING HER FATHER IN LAW) AND MANY MORE.

THEY LIVE IN LANFORD, ILLINOIS.

OUT OF THE 222 EPISODES AND 9 SEASONS, THERE WAS ONE PARTICULAR EPISODE (I HAVE SEEN THEM ALL –  AT LEAST ONCE) WAS THE EPISODE ENTITLED “A STASH FROM THE PAST” THAT AIRED 10/5/93 THAT WILL FOREVER BE MY FAVORITE.

IN THIS EPISODE, ROSEANNE HAPPENS TO COME ACROSS SOME MARIJUANA (POT, WEED, HASH, DOPE, CHRONIC, INDO, SMOKE, WACKY TOBACCY, GRASS, HASHISH, SMOKE, MARY JANE) THAT WAS IN THE BASEMENT… THEY AUTIMATICALLY ASSUME THAT IT  BELONGED TO DAVID WHO TAKES THE BLAME BECAUSE HE BELIEVES THAT IT WAS DARLENE’S. 

AFTER SOME TIME ROSEANNE REALIZES THAT IT BELONGED TO HER AND DAN (BACK IN THE DAY) AND THEY DECIDE THAT MAYBE THEY SHOULD (ALONG WITH JACKIE) TAKE A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE… THEY GET STONED AND HIDE IN THE BATHROOM (ROSEANNE WAS EATING A FUDGE CICLE AND WEARING HER BROWN LEATHER VEST WITH FRINGE) AND DECIDE AFTER A FUNNY ASS EPISODE, THAT IT WAS A BAD IDEA AND THAT POT IS THE REASON THAT THEY GOT FAT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

JACKIE, WHO WAS SITTING IN THE BATHTUB, CONVINCES HERSELF THAT SHE IS IN THE SINK AND SHE IS SHRINKING AND THAT SHE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE ALONE, JUST HER AND HER GANJA!

MY HUBBY IS POSSITIVE THAT I WATCHED THIS SHOW AS A TRAINING FILM. I JUST ALWAYS LOVED THE WAY THAT SHE PUT UP WITH NOTHING FROM ANYONE!

PLEASE ENJOY…I LOVE HER!

ANYTIME YOU ARE BORED YOU CAN ALWAYS HEAD OVER TO NICK AT NIGHT AND WATCH A RERUN!

Tags: | Edit Tags Tuesday August 29, 2006 – 11:34pm (MDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

THE TRUTH…

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ON OUR TRIP TO CONEY ISLAND…

I REALIZE THAT YOU ALL HEARD JESSICA’S VERSION OF THAT TRIP… HERE ARE THE FACTS! (JESSICA HAS HAD REALLY BAD HOLUSINATIONS SINCE HER BAD EXPERIENCE IN THE “HOUSE OF MIRRORS”.)

PART OF HER STORY IS TRUE…

TIFFANY DID ALMOST GET THE HERPES! (THANK GOD THOSE TESTS CAME BACK NEGATIVE).

THE HOT DOG EATING CONTEST WAS WON, BUT BY CAROLYN…SHE LOVES WEENIES, MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!

SHARON DID THROW UP ON HERSELF BECAUSE OF “CORN DOG OVERLOAD” BUT THE COSTUME WAS NOT STAIN RESISTENT (WE JUST TOLD JESS THAT), WE ACTUALLY JUST TURNED IT INSIDE OUT!

BUT… WE WERE NEVER DANCE PREFORMERS… WE WERE A TOPLESS ALL GIRL BAND.

WE WOULD RIDE THE TILT-A-WHIRL, FARRIS WHEEL AND BUMPER CARS IN OUR COSTUMES WHILE ON LOOKERS WOULD STAND AND STARE IN AMAZEMENT AT OUR  WONDERFUL  BREASTS!

BUT IT WAS NOT ALL FUN AND COTTON CANDY…THE BAND BROKE UP AFTER THAT WONDERFUL SUMMER.

“WHY?” YOU ASK… “WHY DID THEY BREAK UP…”

SIMPLE,

WE COULD NOT DECIDE ON A NAME…

ONE SUNDAY NIGHT WE WERE ALL SITTING AROUND A FLAMING TRASH CAN IN AN ALLEY EATING FUNNEL CAKES, DRINKING LEMONAID AND THAT WAS THE BEGINING OF THE END.

WE HAD RECORDED TWO ALBUMS AND WERE SET TO PREFORM IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE OF 25, 000 PEOPLE AND OUR MANAGER “BOBBY” THOUGHT THAT WE NEEDED A NAME.

I THOUGHT “JUGGS” WAS A COOL NAME FOR AN ALL GIRL TOPLESS BAND, CAROLYN DIDN’T LIKE IT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT WE WOULD SOUND TOO COUNTRY…

TIFFANY THOUGHT THAT “THE B52′S” HAD A NICE RING… WE TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT THE NAME WAS ALREADY TAKEN.

CAROLYN  SUGGESTED “SWEET CAROLINE’S”, SHARON WASN’T DIGGIN’ THAT AT ALL!

“HOW ABOUT “THE CURE”?,  NO TIFF… THAT IS A REAL BAND TOO…

SHARON INSISTED “MY SHARONA’S”…

“OH HELL NO!” WAS CAROLYN’S RESPONCE…

“I’VE GO IT” YELLED TIFFANY…”HOW ABOUT THE POINTER SISTERS?”…WE ALL WONDERED IF SHE HAD EVER ACTUALLY HEARD MUSIC OR HOW MUCH GLUE SHE HAD SNIFFED!

JESSICA TRIED TO FIX THE MIX UP BY SAYING THAT “JESSE’S GIRL’S” WOULD DO THE TRICK AND THAT SHE WAS THE DRUMMER, SO IF WE DIDN’T USE HER SUGGESTION, SHE WAS OUT!…

THAT IS WHEN IT GOT UGLY!

WE ALL PHYSICALLY HAD TO DRAG  CAROLYN OFF OF HER AND PUT SOME LIQUID BAND AID ON JESSICA’S RIGHT NIPPLE TO  RE-ATTACH IT.

JUST AS THINGS STARTED TO CALM DOWN…THERE WAS A VOICE FROM THE BACK THAT ASKED ONLY ONE QUESTION “THE MANDREL SISTER’S?’

!!NO!!

THAT WAS THE LAST WORD SPOKEN UNTIL TIFFANY ORGANIZED THIS LAST TRIP TO THE ISLAND BY INVITING US ALL TO COME AND SEE HER SHOW.  

AT FIRST IT WAS UGLY, THERE WAS SOME AWKWARD SILENCES, SOME DIRTY LOOKS AND SOME SHITTY COMMENTS BUT BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, WHEN WE HAD ALL SEEN TIFFANY’S SHOW…IT ALL MADE SINCE. WE WERE ALL STILL BEST FRIENDS, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED 38 YEARS AGO!

IT WAS SO NICE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER AND WE HAD A GREAT VISIT. IT WAS AGREED UPON THAT WE WOULD ALL STAY IN TOUCH AND VACATION TOGETHER AGAIN REALLY SOON!!!

LIFE HAS TAKEN US ALL IN DIFFERENT DIRECTION AND IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING…

CAROLYN IS NOW AN INTERIOR DECORATOR FOR “LITTLE PEOPLE”. SHE TRAVELS FROM TOWN TO TOWN DECORATING MINI HOMES ALL OVER THE WORLD.

JESSICA IS STILL PLAYING HER DRUMS, SOLO,  TOPLESS IN BOWLING ALEY’S ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. SHE IS ACTUALLY STILL WEARING THE OLD COSTUME.

SHARON HAS BECAME A FAMOUS WRITER. SHE HAS WRITTEN 16 BOOKS ABOUT THE FEMALE ANATOMY AND THE IMPORTANCE OF NIPPLES. 4 WERE BEST SELLERS.

TIFFANY STILL LIVES ON THE ISLAND, SHE IS ACTUALLY A PART OF THE SHOW… SHE JUGGLES FLAMING BATTONS, WHILE ON A UNICYCLE RIDING ON THE TIGHT ROPE AND IS STILL TOPLESS! SHE IS AMAZING!

I HAVE MOVED ON TO BETTER AS WELL… I AM NOW A SHIFT MANAGER AND “CORN DOG 9″ A LOCALLY OWNED STORE (THAT SHARON WAS BANNED FROM) AND  I NOW WIEGH 99 LBS, GROSS AND FAT I KNOW… BUT I HAVE AQUIRED A LOVE OF PERGING AFTER I BINGE  SO LIFE IS GRAND!

NEXT VACATION IS ON JESSICA…EXCITED TO SEE WHERE WE WILL GO!

(THIS IS OUR LAST GROUP PICTURE TAKEN…SHARON (REALLY DARK NIPPLES), CAROLYN, JESSICA (ON DRUMS), HEATHER AND TIFFANY (ON BASS!) THERE WE WERE THE NAMLESS BAND!)

Tags: | Edit Tags Monday August 28, 2006 – 06:15pm (MDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 4 Comments

Entry for August 28, 2006

“MY BUSY WEEKEND ADVENTURE” VOL:#1

HELLO!

HOW ARE ALL OF YOU?

SORRY FOR THE BREAK… I HAVE HAD A VERY BUSY WEEKEND…

AND IT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS…

FRIDAY RIGHT AFTER WORK, I DROVE THE 3 1/2 HOURS TO GRAND JCT. (I WILL GO INTO THE REASONING LATER) AND I GOT THERE AT LIKE 7:00pm OR SO.

WHEN I WAS HEADED OVER I GOT A RETURN CALL FROM GORDON TELLING ME THAT HIS TRUCK AND THE FURNITURE WERE AT MY HIS PARENTS (MY UNCLE JIM AND MY AUNTIE ANNIE) AND IT WAS ALL READY TO GO… I LOVE HIM!

CAROLYN ALSO CALLED AND WE MADE PLANS TO GO TO DINNER, WHICH WAS GOOD BECAUSE I WAS HUNGRY!

I WENT RIGHT TO THE CAR WASH, THEN TO GRANNY’S TO CHANGE OUT OF MY SCRUBS AND BE READY WHEN CAROLYN SHOWED UP TO GET ME.

I GOT TO MEET MY GRANNY’S FRIEND SHARON (WHO GRANNY SAYS HAS “CHEMO BRAIN” AND HAS NO MEMORY, SHARON SAYS SHE JUST CAN’T REMEMBER SHIT!) AND SHE WAS FABULOUS… SHE SWORE UP AND DOWN THAT SHE HAD JUST SEEN ME AT THE GROCERY STORE… AFTER WE EXPLAINED TO HER ABOUT 3 TIMES THAT I LIVED 3 1/2 HOURS AWAY AND WAS NOT AT THE GROCERY STORE… SHE LAUGHED AND THEN ANNOUNCED THAT SHE WAS CRAZY AND I SHOULD JUST IGNORE HER.

THANK GOD…CAROLYN  HAD ARRIVED. AFTER A QUICK CONVERSATION WITH GRANNY, WE WERE OFF TO “JOHNNY CARINO’S”…

I HAD NEVER BEEN THER…

HOW THE HELL IS IT THAT IT HAS BEEN THERE FOR A FEW YEARS AND NO ONE HAD EVER INFORMED ME ON HOW DELICIOUS IT WAS?

~WOW~

HAVE YOU EVER HAD ITALIAN NACHO’S?

THEY KICK ASS!!!

WE HAD GREAT CONVERSATION (I HAVE MISSED HER SO MUCH!) AND ATE UNTIL WE WERE SICK (CAROLYN ACTUALLY GOT “THE BULEMIA” WHEN SHE GOT HOME)… IT WAS SO GOOD THOUGH.

SHE TOOK ME TO GET GORDON’S TRUCK AND I WAS OFF TO CHARITY’S HOUSE FOR SOME SLEEP.

TOTALLY FAT AND HAPPY!

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS, PART ONE IN MY ADVENTURE!

TO BE CONTINUED…

(ALRIGHT, HERE IS THE DEAL, GORDON IS NO LONGER USING HIS FURNITURE AND I HATE MINE, SO I DROVE TO JCT. BECAUSE HE GAVE ME HIS FURNITURE AND I NEEDED TO USE HIS TRUCK TO TAKE MINE TO CAROLYN… SHE IS GETTING HER OWN PLACE SOON AND HAS NO FURNITURE SO I GAVE HER MINE!…I TOLD YA’LL I’M A RED NECK!!)

Tags: | Edit Tags Monday August 28, 2006 – 09:56am (MDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 3 Comments

BLOG # 10 LAST ONE FOR TODAY

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!!!

Tags: | Edit Tags Friday August 25, 2006 – 10:48am (MDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

BLOG # 9 TODAY

LOLOLOL…

ENOUGH SAID!